"This only is certain, that there is nothing certain; and nothing more miserable and yet more arrogant than man."

"In comparing various authors with one another, I have discovered that some of the gravest and latest writers have transcribed, word for word, from former works, without making acknowledgment."

"Why is it that we entertain the belief that for every purpose odd numbers are the most effectual?"

"The best plan is to profit by the folly of others."

"The only certainty is that nothing is certain."

"From the end spring new beginnings."

"A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don't have a J.O.B."

"Never exceed your rights, and they will soon become unlimited."

"I think every woman is entitled to a middle husband she can forget."

"I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either."

"The best doctor in the world is the veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter-he's got to just know."

"Books have the same enemies as people: fire, humidity, animals, weather, and their own content."