"Though one should be prepared to vomit rather frequently and disport with pink elephants and assorted grotesqueries while trying often unsuccessfully to make one's way to the toilet."

"True role models don't stand on a pedestal and tell you how to climb up; they jump down and help push you up."

"Grown men can learn from very little children for the hearts of little children are pure. Therefore, the Great Spirit may show to them many things which older people miss."

"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around every once in awhile, you could miss it."

"Advice, like medicine, should be given in small does; that a little is good doesn't mean more will be better."

"Solitude shows us what should be; society shows us what we are."

"I found out that when you get married the man becomes the head of the house. And the woman becomes the neck, and she turns the head any way she wants to."

"A gift, with a kind countenance, is a double present."

"There's a great woman behind every idiot."

"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."

"We can forgive a man for making a useful thing, as long as he does not admire it. The only excuse for making a useless thing is that one admires it intensely. All art is quite useless."

"I don't have false teeth. Do you think I'd buy teeth like these?"